Tag Archives: Community Involvement

CAMBRIA PROS COMMISSION Turning Ideas To Action

16 Thursday Feb 2023

Posted by in Beautiful Cambria, Cambria CCSD, Educating a Community, Local politics, PROS Commision, Skate Park, Words matter

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Beautiful Cambria is home to a diverse range of people, from toddlers to seniors, long-time residents, new arrivals, and a healthy stream of visitors drawn to this special place and a community that embraces and protects the natural beauty and uniqueness of the environment. Cambria is also home to rare and sensitive species and habitats that must be protected. Balancing the needs of all, and using the resources and open spaces under the care of the Cambria Community Services District wisely, is a serious responsibility.

The Parks, Recreation, and Open Space Commission (PROS) advises and assists the Cambria Community Service District Board of Directors with identifying potential issues and opportunities to manage and advance the uses of Cambria’s open space.

PROS is looking for projects to increase Cambria’s outdoor recreation options. The current focus is on the East Fiscalini Ranch, which is home to Cambria Dog Park. The Commission has put together an ad hoc committee to gather community input on three options and drive community engagement through feedback and active participation.

The East Ranch

There are three potential projects for the East Fiscalini Ranch. Each option is low-cost, has a low environmental impact, and is accessible to a cross-section of the community.

The selection process has been thoughtful and deliberate, with PROS and community members sharing ideas on what would make good sense for the community and those who visit.

The three projects under discussion are:

  • Multi-use trails that loop around the east ranch, utilizing the existing paths. Upgrading the current trail system will give greater access to safe, easy walking, jogging, and potential light bicycle use.
  • “Exercise stations.” These popular, low-profile systems provide simple, easily accessed stops for walkers, runners, seniors, and children to stretch, do simple strength/resistance exercises, and other low-impact opportunities to enhance outdoor time.
  • Disc (Frisbee) Golf is an increasingly popular activity that requires minimal equipment and offers a self-paced, casual, or competitive activity that most people can enjoy. Options include an environmentally friendly course that offers different challenges to the casual enthusiast or more advanced player.

These three options under consideration will take advantage of the beautiful outdoor environment while being sensitive to the unique environmental characteristics of the East Ranch, as well as the concerns of the surrounding community.

Your Input Is Valued

Community input is most valuable and influential at the beginning of any project. This engagement helps get a true sense of what the community sees as beneficial and viable. It also provides an opportunity to voice concerns and objections. All feedback is welcome.

Here are a few ways to engage.

The Ad Hoc team welcomes everyone to attend an in-person meeting. The in-person gatherings have been lively, open, and very productive. The next session is Saturday, March 4th, 2023, at 9:00 a.m. in the Cambria Chamber of Commerce Conference Room, 767 Main Street.

Volunteers are manning the Farmer’s Market with information, maps, a simple, informative petition, and, most importantly, open ears.

Submit Community questions and comments via email at getoutdoorsadhocrec@gmail.com.

The next PROS meeting will be held via ZOOM and at The Veterans Memorial Hall on March 7th at 10:00 a.m. Public comment is encouraged and welcomed. Find Links and Agendas on the Cambriacsd.org website.

Updates

PROS will provide updates and information regularly through cambriaca.org

Social Media platforms will be used sparingly, generally for meeting notifications or critical updates. The goal is to foster robust community discussion without the challenges faced by unmoderated and often misinformed social media exchanges.

Once the project selection process is complete, the team will focus on the detail. Design, cost, impacts, and benefits – all the parts and pieces needed to be defined before anything moves forward. Again, the current objective is to reach a consensus on the “what” before diving into the “how.”

Consider how you would like to help shape the discussions and decisions for Cambria’s outdoor recreation. Your voice matters.

PROS and COMMS

02 Wednesday Nov 2022

Posted by in Cambria CCSD, Cambria Healthcare District, Educating a Community, Emergency Services, Measure G-22, Parcel Tax, PROS Commision, Words matter

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One of Cambria’s biggest mysteries keeps me wondering: Where do people get their information? Not their opinions, but facts? There is quite a bit of chatter and an occasional swell of public participation in the things that local government organizations do. Still, active community participation through “official” channels is statistically negligible.


PROS

A discussion at the Parks, Recreation, and Open Space (PROS) Commission meeting raised this question again. PROS is doing its best to move recreation projects forward and is looking for ways to get public input. The question is, how to do that effectively?

The PROS Commission faces some tough and unique challenges as it strives to meet its charter. The organization has little to no budget and authority yet keeps finding ways to move projects forward. Among the challenges, the East Fiscalini Ranch looms large. As it currently stands, the ranch segment to the east of Highway 1 has a dog park, a few picnic tables, a sizeable graded, gopher-holed open field, and a basic walking path around the perimeter. Under a covenant with San Luis Obispo County, which contributed $500,000.00 to purchasing the Fiscalini property, this section calls for developing “active recreation.” A devil’s bargain, perhaps, but a reality that needs managing.

Best Laid Plans

So, what is active recreation? A Master Plan developed in the project’s early days identified a range of possible uses, from baseball and soccer fields to golf facilities and more. For each project, a slew of regulations, studies, and permits need to be addressed. Moreso, there are environmental concerns for both the physical locations and the surrounding neighborhoods. In reality, each idea brings significant challenges and low probabilities for implementation. One hurdle to the further development of the proposed recreation area is the requirement for bathroom facilities. This condition is on the way to being met, with all the critical study, design, and approvals completed. Now, it needs to be funded and built.

The issues all add up to a nearly unsolvable condition. PROS has been struggling to either let go of or redo the original Master Plan, which doesn’t reflect the practical realities of today. Interestingly, the struggle to come to terms with today’s realities has surfaced another serious and weighty question – What are PROS’ Purpose, Mission, and Operating Principles? How can this unfunded, volunteer-staffed and led Commission effectively provide input to the CCSD Board?

Big Hearts, Small Steps

In the face of all these challenges, the good-hearted and committed members of the Commission have been pressing ahead. They have identified three simple, low-cost projects that will add incremental functionality to the park with little fiscal or environmental overhead. In simple terms, the goals are to better structure the existing paths that run around the perimeter, design and add several exercise stations adjacent to the course, and build a few additional picnic benches and trash receptacles to provide areas for people to sit and relax. Each of these projects will be examined by an Ad Hoc committee to identify the required next steps to bring them from idea to reality.

Contribute

This Ad Hoc committee and the PROS Commission are looking for public input. So how does that happen? Given the low level of participation in the process, it seems new avenues of communication are needed. Go to the PROS page, find a member, and reach out with your thoughts. Attend a meeting. Submit a comment through the Board Secretary. Think about what you are for, rather than what you are against.

Change the conversation from Action/Opposition/Outrage to Input/Discussion/Refinement/Implementation.

COMMUNICATIONS

Attendance at official public meetings is dramatically low. For example, at the PROS meeting today, November 1, 2022, there were two attendees from the public. The number of attendees over time ranges between zero and, on a great day, maybe eight attendees. Most participants seem to be “frequent flyers,” with the occasional surge of folks who log in to speak on a specific issue that they support or, more likely, oppose. The recent discussion around the leash ordinance on the Fiscalini Ranch Preserve drew some passionate commentary from the public. Still, even that was limited to a tiny – one handful, perhaps, number. This pattern repeats at the Policy Committee meeting, with many of the same regulars in attendance.

Paying Attention?

The past year has been full of difficult and complicated discussions that cut straight to the core of an issue that touches every member of the community. Rate hikes upon rate increases have left many reeling, angry, and a bit fearful of what may come next. But why were so many people surprised by what happened? Why is the first reaction so often an assault on the honesty, integrity, and competence of our elected officials and the professional staff that keeps our agencies running?

Vote the bastards out! Give us all new heros! Wait a minute, those folks were our heros last time. They must have somehow gotten dumb, corrupt and greedy – no way they are honest! Really?
A quick roll call of the Directors who have served on the CCSD Board since 2012…Clift, Thompson, Sanders, Farmer, Wharton, Pierson, Rice, Robinette, Bahringer, Dean, Stiedel, Gray, Howell. All of these fellow citizens are no good SOBs? Really?

Transparency – A Shared Responsibility

Our local agencies provide very good access to information to the communities they serve. The Cambria Community Services District website is an public portal that leads to detailed current and historical data across the departments that make up the District. Navigation is fairly easy, though as with any information repositories, finding things sometimes requires careful consideration on how one forms a query.

The CCSD website offers a simple, consistent method for citizens to get information on meetings, agendas, relevant updates, and news releases. Users can opt into any or all categories offered and receive timely information delivered to their email addresses. Yet, the data shows that only a small percentage of the CCSD customer base utilizes this feature.

Email Subscriber List                           Subscribed 9/15/2022   Subscribed 11/1/2022
Board Agendas365369
PROS Commission Agendas290293
Finance Standing Committee Agendas304305
Resources and Infrastructure Standing Committee332336
Policy Standing Committee Agendas335336
Water Conservation417424
Annual Water Quality Report (CCR)335342
Affordable Housing Program291297
Fire Department News and Updates361366
Water and Wastwater News and Updates403407
Facilities and Resources News and Updates349353
Administration News and Updates319321
Emergency Notifications351355
Current News331336
Notices313317
Press Releases309 
CCSD EMAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS

Data Redeux

The Waste Management rate hike caught a lot of people off guard. Even though it received all the required public hearings, it did not generate much public involvement until the reality of the actual increase became clear. Much of the awareness was driven by active community members, who banged the drum and rang the bell to alert fellow community members. The resultant outcry, and poorly executed public hearing, was an epic example of a community in action, good and bad.

The CCSD website had a section dedicated to the issue. The statistics – 254 users, 311 unique page views.


I reached out through a Public Records Request to see how many ratepayers contacted the CCSD for information and feedback before the September 15th Protest date. In addition to my request, four other document sets matched the inquiry. One emailer asked detailed questions about the issue. A second ratepayer asked for a protest form; the third was a fellow citizen who, upon request of the clerk, provided said protest form. The fourth was a string of correspondence between the trash company, the CCSD staff and GM, and the consultant who did the rate study.

I also asked the Directors individually about their contact level with the public. Two responded; the first said, “Two people, and you are one of them.” The second replied, “One came to me through my participation with another community group.” The remaining three Directors did not respond.

I highlight these data points to illustrate how few community members use the official tools available versus how many voice opinions across the spectrum of channels that make up today’s Town Square. There are influential and trusted community members who do the hard work to gather and share information. Some approach issues as a hammer in search of a nail, and others have deeply held principles that frame their positions in support of those beliefs. Then there are the “fighters” who just like to go to battle—democracy in action.

Why is so little interaction with the people and resources best suited to provide factual information? What can the CCSD do to drive more fact-based dialog?

Making an Effort

Want more heated debate? I offer the Cambria Community Healthcare District’s ballot initiative – Proposition G-22. The ballot measure is a big ask for a community tagged with significant rate increases for critical services and infrastructure. In simple terms, the CHD is asking voters to approve a tax on properties within the District’s borders to fund a replacement for the existing Ambulance and District office complex. The measure seeks to raise $8.5 million to remove the existing buildings and construct a modern facility that will meet the current and future needs of the communities served by the CHD.

The documentation provided on the CHD website is more talking points than details, leaving room for interpretations and assumptions, and unanswered specific questions. Further exchanges have continued in the online Town Square, with little movement or resolution, and everybody is a little guilty of intractability.

To the District’s credit, Board members and Staff leadership have been out at the Farmer’s Market every Friday, ready to engage in discussion. A public information forum on a recent Sunday afternoon drew a small crowd to the Joslyn Center, joined by some Zoom attendees. While not a great success, an effort was made to have a fact-based dialog. Unfortunately, the dialog part was less than positive. Though less than totally convinced, I left the meeting as a public supporter of the measure.

Rust Never Sleeps

I have visited the existing facility twice to see the issues up close and spoke with multiple members of the Ambulance Corps. They walked me through the challenging logistics of living and working in the existing building complex. My view (and yes, my gut feeling) is that the conditions are pretty poor, the footprint does not lend itself to modernization, and the domino effect of trying to renovate will lead to significant and impractical hurdles. I am not an expert, but I trust the professionals who have put this project together. And I trust the employees who know better than most the challenges the existing facilities present.

I am reminded of a discussion with a friend about keeping an old car for a few more years versus replacing it with a new vehicle. Would the old car last for a while? Probably, but it would still be an old car that would require more and more service. 

VOTE!

We have three capable candidates running for two seats on the CCSD Board of Directors. Use your mind and your heart. Ask questions rather than make assumptions. Review their platforms. Call them. Email them. Challenge them. Encourage them. And remember, they are our neighbors, friends, and fellow citizens volunteering to take what can be a very unpleasant yet rewarding four year ride. They all deserve our best wishes.

We also have a serious decision to make on the future of our Healthcare District facilities. A decision that will have real impact on all of the community, whether wealthy, poor, or just an average citizen doing the best that can be done to live a decent life.

Think about what you are for, rather than what you are against.

And eat your vegetables.

Building A Skate Park

13 Saturday Nov 2021

Posted by in Beautiful Cambria, Cambria CCSD, Community Involvement, Local politics, Skate Park, Social Responsibility

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Beautiful Cambria never lacks a passion project. The current drive to build a Skate Park on Main Street to replace the one removed due to its deteriorating condition is an excellent example of the challenges of such endeavors.

What might seem like a simple, straightforward project is much more complicated than perhaps people realize. Over the recent weeks, I had multiple conversations with representatives from all parts of the puzzle, including leadership from Skate Cambria, CCSD Board members, and staff. My goal is to present a reasonably clear view of the moving pieces that make up this effort. There are levels of complexity beneath each topic, so I have added links to available details so readers can examine the same data. Here’s a simplified takeaway from those discussions.

The Simple

The goal of the project’s advocates is to build a safe, accessible skate park on Cambria Services District property on Main Street, next to the Cambria Library and across the street from the Vet’s Hall. The previous community-built facility occupied the site before being dismantled due to deteriorating and unsafe conditions.

Proposed Site on Main Street

The Players

A community organization, Skate Cambria, is deeply involved in driving the project forward. Skate Cambria has done an admirable job of gaining community support, as well as skateboard-related industry interest. The group’s fundraising efforts, managed through a local non-profit, have reportedly amassed approximately $175,000.00.

The Cambria Community Services District is involved in the project for two main reasons. First, the property belongs to the District, and by extension, Cambria’s taxpayers. As a community asset under the CCSD’s jurisdiction, there is a responsibility to manage the parcel appropriately.

Second, Cambria’s PROS (Parks, Recreation, and Open Space) Commission serves as an advisory body to the CCSD Board of Directors. PROS has a limited budget and no legal authority to take action without the CCSD Board of Directors’ approval.

The Challenges

As always, the biggest issue the project faces is funding. The preferred location brings a host of challenges that drive costs, and therefore injects financial risks associated with uncertainty.

Information and presentations from the CCSD Special Meeting on October 30th, 2021

Based on detailed presentations from the design and engineering firm Spohn Ranch and the Project Management lead from CCSD, the current projected cost sits at Six Hundred and Sixty-One thousand dollars. This number, provided by Spohn Ranch, carries several caveats, including potential areas of cost reductions.

The Project Management presentation details the requirements from SLO County’s permitting authorities. Concerns include the need for a restroom and accessible parking for the facility. Both of these requirements have the potential to add significantly to the final project costs. There are potential approaches that could reduce or eliminate the need to build out both items. Final project requirements will be defined through Value Engineering/redesign activities and negotiations with the permitting agencies.

Funding Sources

Skate Cambria’s Fundraising Report

Skate Cambria indicates they have raised approximately $175,000.00 in donations. They continue their fundraising activities and lobbying for additional financial support from the community and other interested parties.

A potential funding source under review is a PROP 68 grant for $177,000.00. As part of the application, the District must identify the project’s cost and all funding committed to the project.

Gaining a more accurate and realistic total project cost requires significant interaction with the permitting organizations, complex project re-engineering, and aggressive negotiations among all parties to get to a final project plan. The filing deadline for the grant is December 31st, so it is a steep climb to gather all the data, crunch all the numbers, identify all the funding sources, and go through the process of budgeting and allocation of District funds.

Based on just the “known” estimated costs outlined by Mr. Spohn, the quick math is:

Estimated Project Cost –  $661,000.00.

Assume the $177,000.00 grant is secured. Add the Skate Cambria funds of $175,000.00.

The difference that the CCSD would need to commit to contributing to meet the grant criteria is $309,000.00.

Remember, these figures are based on estimated costs and do not include any additional expense to meet required permit conditions. Nor do they contain any cost reductions gained through redesign and Value Engineering.

Regardless of how the project is ultimately defined, any District money must come from the general fund. That is the same pool of money that pays for the Fire Department and The Fiscalini Ranch Preserve, among other things.

Next Steps

The Board has scheduled a special meeting for Saturday, November 20th, to discuss this project. The meeting will be available through Zoom, and the public is encouraged to share thoughts and suggestions on how to move forward. It is always better to participate in the process and make your judgments rather than rely on other people’s perspectives.

Check the CCSD Calendar for ZOOM links and meeting agenda. 

This project is a positive example of how citizens work together to meet goals that affect the larger Cambria community. Skate Cambria demonstrates the passion and commitment to the Skate Park project and the equally important job of being great role models for the community, young and old.

The CCSD Board and staff continue to do the difficult work of evaluating all the information, balancing the community’s needs, and making the hard decisions about spending limited resources most responsibly.

Beautiful Cambria in action!

YOU Decide

23 Wednesday Sep 2020

Posted by in Beautiful Cambria, Cambria CCSD, Communicating, Community Involvement, Living Our Values, Local politics, Searching for Cambria's Reality, Social Responsibility, Words matter

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I can’t believe it’s “destroy your neighbor’s political yard signs ” season already. Where did the time go?

download

From reading local posts and roasts, one might think multiple evil twins are running for the three Cambria Community Services District board seats. (From Wikipedia – “The evil twin is an antagonist found in many different fictional genres. The twin is physically nearly identical to the protagonist, but with a radically inverted morality.”) 

For every positive endorsement of an individual, there is an equal number that declare the candidate a disaster. It is Amazing how many Kreskins live around here, and how confidently they predict each twin’s exact agenda for the future. Spooky!

kreskin2

The Good

Cambrians are fortunate to have four well-known and qualified candidates competing for three seats. Each individual is deeply involved in the community, serving in both elected and appointed roles.

Incumbents David Pierson and Harry Farmer are both seeking re-election. Director Amanda Rice has decided to step back for a while. I hold Amanda in high regard when we agree and when we disagree. She is pragmatic and passionate, always does her homework, and values data, facts, and solid reasoning. As a keeper of the community’s trust, Amanda embraces challenging issues with compassion and a drive for social justice. Thank you for your leadership, Amanda.

Now, back to the election.

Incumbents

Harry Farmer and David Pierson have both served as Board President and chaired District Standing/Advisory Committees. Both serve with non-CCSD organizations such as the Cambria FireSafe Focus Group, Friends of The Fiscalini Ranch, American Legion, and Greenspace. Both men have demonstrated their values, influences, and approaches while serving as Board members. 

Harry and David have name recognition and a catalog of service. Those who follow the CCSD have a good idea of who they are and what they believe.

(The other Harry and David, in case you need a nosh while researching.)

Pierson

David Pierson is a mature, moderating force on the Board. He offers civility and collaboration to what has often been contentious and partisan governance. David’s life-long devotion to leadership continues to be a great asset to the board and to each committee and community group he leads. His extensive engineering and management experience make him uniquely qualified to understand the intersections of technology and process as it relates to the critical issues that face the community. He is always calm, polite, and practical.

The “no he isn’t” contingent tag him as relentlessly pro-growth with little regard for fire safety, failing infrastructure, and the ratepayer pocketbook. All that leadership of the FireSafe Focus Group is just a cover for his true plot to build the town to within an inch of the ocean.

Five minutes with David should put a rest to those ridiculous assertions.

Oy Vey!

Farmer

Harry Farmer has been a consistent advocate for fiscal responsibility, environmental awareness, and preservation of Cambria’s small-town community essence. He does constant outreach to the community and the district employees, looking to better understand the needs and concerns of the different parts that make the community what it is. He is not an experienced manager or public official, so his approaches don’t conform to usual practices seen on many boards. Over his four year term, he has become more familiar with the technical aspects of budgets, infrastructure programs and practices, and employee relationships. 

 Harry’s evil twin has all of the same characteristics, positioned as negatives rather than positives. Torch-bearing townsfolk see his behaviors as disruptive, uninformed, and regressive, with an unhealthy tilt towards a subset of the overall community and a significant disdain for Cambrians on the other side of the issues. 

Harry Farmer is Harry Farmer – he speaks his mind, and what you see is what you get. I appreciate the consistency and transparency of his service. 

Talk with him at the Farmer’s Market – you’ll find him deep in discussion with his fellow citizens. He’s a good man.

Non-Incumbents

Karen Dean and Tom Gray also have long records of service to the community. Both have served on the North Coast Advisory Council and CCSD standing committees. Karen and Tom each stepped up and offered to serve as appointed Directors during the last go-around of Board vacancies.

Dean

When I look to gain a wider perspective on how our community is managed, Karen always welcomes a conversation around the challenging and divisive issues plaguing Cambria. These discussions are always respectful and factual, and regardless of disagreement often end in the sharing of some of her awesome home-baked cookies.

But wait, say her detractors! Her deep concern and environmental activism make her suspect in the eyes of some. Her “evil twin,” according to her doubters, is violently anti-SWF and anti-growth, and is easily swayed by more vocal and aggressive partisans.

I have yet to meet that twin and don’t believe she exists.

Karen Dean walks the walk, humbly.

Gray

Tom Gray has deep knowledge of the issues that impact Cambria’s quality of life. He engages in public service from a sense of obligation and perhaps a smidgen of hubris. We differ significantly on a few key issues, and have exchanged some heated comments while representing our positions. Regardless of differences, Tom’s education, experience, and work ethic can add value and substance to the efforts to keep Cambria in good health. 

Meanwhile, Tom’s evil twin wants to enable his coven of secret developers so they may turn a sleepy coastal community into a hellscape of mansions and swimming pools. His work as the Public Information Officer for the District during the development of the Emergency Water Supply project is all the proof one needs to convict him of everything, and then some.

Ay, Caramba!

This, of course, is silly, though it is not unusual thinking in a place where people’s character and motivation are suspect based on their professional associations.

Ask Them!

My recommendation to all who have questions, or who struggle to decide which twin is which, is to actively participate in the process. Each candidate has made it clear that they are accessible and eager to engage in positive dialog with anyone – though I would personally disengage from the rude, the bullying, and the abusive, like those who steal campaign signs. Visit the websites, call the numbers, send an email, and make your assessment on who will best serve the entire community.

Here’s a good place to start – 

LOWV

Listen. Learn, Question, Debate. Decide.
VOTE.

End Times

10 Monday Aug 2020

Posted by in Beautiful Cambria, Humor, Satire, Searching for Cambria's Reality, Social Media, Words matter

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Well, it is here. The cataclysmic events presaged in countless movies, books, and television shows have arrived. Driven by a mutant virus, rapidly spreading through a combination of bad luck and bad behaviors, fueled by a resistance to reality and a sense of invincibility, and enabled by babbling baboons that somehow have taken over the circus.

The world waits for the latest bug to just disappear, like a miracle. Do miracles disappear? Or is the disappearing the miracle? Either way, miracles are getting a bad name. I expect a malevolent rebel to sneak up under cover of an N95 mask and rewrite the whole MIRACLE Wikipedia page.

Here, in beautiful Cambria, our community’s governmental gatherings have migrated online; reduced to small clusters of like-minded folks who connect from a safe distance under the control of one known as “the Host.” In my mind’s eye, “The Host” sits surrounded by computer screens, telephones, sheaves of official-looking documents, a cup of tepid herbal tea, and two cats who invariably step on the right key when an outraged citizen raises a virtual hand to speak.

Like most evolution, it initially went unnoticed. At first, it was just a board meeting or two. Soon, that wasn’t enough. The lure of the standing committees drew me in. Hunger grew. I soon found myself scouring the CCSD website event calendar, searching for the next meeting. Finance, Infrastructure, it didn’t matter. I knew I had a problem when I clicked the link for the third leg of the trinity. Yes, I am talking about the Policy Committee. Then came Parks, Recreation, and Open Space. I could not stop. I attempted to access the legendary FireSafe Focus meeting, but, like a lapsed Catholic, sat in the purgatory of the virtual lobby, waiting for “the Host” to grant me entry. That entry never came. I suppose I will have to make do with the minutes.

Not to be too indelicate, but my office chair is telling me we are reaching the end. The squeaks and groans grow louder as the cushion grows flatter. The tilt is more forward, and the distance from seat to screen shortens. The dents in my forearms from the laptop frame have inched towards my elbows, and my sedentary body’s stiffness now covers a whole lot more real estate.  Eyedrop consumption rises as visual acuity falls. I cling desperately to my razor, for surely growing a white beard would be the final sign of surrender.

Yes, the end is near. I am squinting straight into the new reality.

The Zoombie Apocalypse has arrived.

Thoughts From The Back of the Zoom

19 Sunday Apr 2020

Posted by in Beautiful Cambria, Cambria CCSD, Cambria Healthcare District, Cambria Schools, Communicating, Community Involvement, Home, Living Our Values, Local politics, Social Responsibility, Words matter

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As we enter year twenty-seven of the Corona Quarantine, Cambrians are doing a pretty good job of adapting to our new reality. Happiness begins at home!

Upstairs Downstairs

My wife and I have separate workspaces where we can write, play our instruments, and goof off. We have a few regular check-ins each day – morning coffee, lunch, afternoon coffee, and Jeopardy.

Her office is set up with an integrated desk for her computer and a cabinet that holds everything; pens, pencils, notepaper, stamps, paper clips, 3×5 index cards, and what I think is either one of the Dead Sea Scrolls or a yellowed press clipping from the Cleveland Plain Dealer. Across the room, her digital piano is set up in the closet, so she can move from the PC keyboard to piano keyboard in a few short steps. Her biggest weapon is her grand piano, which lives upstairs and gets daily vigorous workouts that range from Chopin and Mendelssohn to Lennon and McCartney.

My office is set up in what was a walk-in closet attached to the guest room. It contains a work desk I built to take advantage of a recess in the wall. In addition to my PC and associated devices, I am surrounded by my own musical tools. Most are kept in cases, but one or two are left out within easy reach should the muse strike. Behind me, a curtain conceals a couple of amps that allow me my own vigorous musical-ish workout. It’s mainly about the loud!

Going Digital

Our use of digital technology to keep in contact with the world has expanded. We have mastered Facetime through frequent sessions with the grandkids. It fills part of the void, but nothing replaces reading a book or playing the piano and guitar together. Sitting at the dinner table helps us all learn new scientific facts, like how far pasta can fly before sticking to a sibling’s ear. I miss those zany kids!

We have extended our virtual world to include work, worship, and writing.

Small Adjustments

As a home-based content creator, I have gotten comfortable with social distancing. My weekly sessions with my publisher, as well as client interviews, have been done over Zoom for quite some time. Seeing and hearing the people I’m writing about adds another dimension to the process of building compelling stories.

During a recent interview with the owner of a long-established printing and data management firm, I was struck by the impact the ongoing pandemic was having. On the day we spoke, he sounded exhausted, worried, and determined to keep his business open and delivering for his clients as COVID-19 cut his staff by almost half.

Even in a business with automated workflows, intelligent, data-driven systems, and process-bound operations, the reduction in well-trained, experienced employees was determining whether this family-owned, multi-generational concern could continue to operate.

It is all about people.

Big Adjustments

Jan’s routine has adjusted to the new realities. She has suspended her teaching practice, believing vocal and piano lessons wouldn’t be as useful over the web. Lyra, a woman’s vocal group featuring talented singers from Cambria, has not been able to maintain weekly sessions, leaving a musical and emotional gap in her Wednesday afternoons. The weekly writer’s group she participates in has adopted an virtual meeting format, using Google Hangouts. They gather online to share their works in progress, offer critiques and suggestions, and, most importantly, support each other as writers, artists, and connected creators.

Spiritual Connections

Sunday services are another part of Jan’s evolving routine. The process of moving what had been an in-person communal gathering, with a set flow, into an environment of multiple remote participants, was not trivial.  The switch required both simple and complex changes to use online tools to deliver the service and enable congregant participation.

As a contributing musician, figuring out everything from audio levels to synchronization of sound was quite a hill to climb.  Fortunately, this community is rich in talented, experienced members with backgrounds in the creative and technical arts. After multiple rehearsals and tech run-throughs, the service is again open to the congregation. People are able to come together as a community. The spirit is willing, and the flesh can wear sweatpants.

Local Government

California’s Brown Act sets the rules for government meetings to ensure transparency and accountability. As the pandemic widened, in-person public gatherings became at first impractical, and then impossible as shelter in place orders were enacted. The Brown Act rules were adjusted to allow for agencies to conduct the people’s business through virtual meetings.

The Cambria Community Services District (CCSD) and the Cambria Community Healthcare District (CCHD) quickly adjusted, conducting web-based meetings to ensure the public’s ability to participate in the process of government. These sessions are accessible through the internet, over the telephone, and, in the case of CCSD, the existing livestream and public access television.

Is This Thing On?

As the CCSD Board and staff work through different processes to hold online meetings, we get to experience every variant of the memes poking fun at web-based sessions.

You’re muted…YOUR MUTED!!!!…UNMUTE YOURSELF!!!!!!!!  Sorry, can you hear me? (CROSSTALK) Can you hear me now??? WHY ARE YOU WAVING AT ME????? WHO IS PLAYING THE BACKSTREET BOYS ???? I CAN”T HEAR ANYONE!!! DEAR GOD, IS THAT MY HAIR????? Oh, That’s better. Haley, any public comment? (I learned that you can actually hear and see eye rolls in high definition.)

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Familiar

Remote meetings offer Board members and staff the chance to mispronounce regular participants’ names in a whole new forum. Perhaps the abundant stay-at-home time presents the perfect opportunity to learn how to pronounce them correctly. It’s not like they aren’t called two or eight times a meeting! And for goodness sake, if “Elizabeth Bettenhausen” just rolls off the tongue, surely we can manage to put the “T” in the vice-president’s name! Say it with me now – Cindy Siedel…uh, Cindy Seitel, uh, Cindy Steidel – yeah, that’s it!

Hopefully, more Cambrians will find their way to the Zoom Room. Perhaps an inviting graphic might draw some regulars back. How about a pre-roll package featuring a perky, upbeat theme song and an announcer introducing the cast, super-imposed against the backdrop of various Cambria landmarks?  “From the beautiful central coast of California, it’s time for CCSD LIVE!!! (canned muttering and grumbling, chairs scraping and agendas rustling.) “And here’s your host, President Harry Farmer!!!!!” (Shot of the blue beetle pulling up and Harry entering the frame from his home.)

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Hear Me Roar!

On a more serious note, the current webinar format used by the CCSD has a lot of positives and a few negatives. The ability to participate in the meeting is there, though not in a way that allows citizens to “speak” in their own voice. Instead, public comments are submitted to the Deputy Clerk via email. She then reads them into the public record. A serious objection was raised by a citizen who felt this process was an impediment to full public participation. I understand this objection, though I don’t agree that it blocks engagement. It might feel like voices are being muzzled; however, the words are communicated as they are written.  As the need for these virtual meetings continues, the opportunity exists to try different ways of including public comment in its native tongue.

Words Matter

As both a comment-er and a silent observer, I found myself intrigued by hearing public comment read aloud by a neutral party. People generally have a speaking style that is unique to them, and over time it can lull this listener into less than a fully attentive state. At the last meeting, I found myself paying closer attention to the words rather than the delivery. It was a bit disconcerting to hear how harsh many of the comments were. I found myself reacting viscerally and felt less open to understanding the stated points of view.

I had a similar moment of disquiet on last month’s CCHD web meeting when the new Director was sworn in using an extended version of the Oath of Office. The first part was familiar – it is the oath sworn by officials ranging from our CCSD board, our School District board, and even the Governor of California. The second part, however, made me sit up and say, “huh?”

“And I do further swear (or affirm) that I do not advocate, nor am I a member of any party or organization, political or otherwise, that now advocates the overthrow of the Government of the United States or of the State of California by force or violence or other unlawful means; that within the five years immediately preceding the taking of this oath (or affirmation) I have not been a member of any party or organization, political or otherwise, that advocated the overthrow of the Government of the United States or of the State of California by force or violence or other unlawful means except as follows:
_____ (If no affiliations, write in the words “No Exceptions”) _____
and that during such time as I hold the office of _____ (name of office) _____
I will not advocate nor become a member of any party or organization, political or otherwise, that advocates the overthrow of the Government of the United States or of the State of California by force or violence or other unlawful means.”

I checked with the District Administrator to make sure I heard the words correctly. He pointed me to the State of California Constitution. Further examination showed this section was added in the early 1950’s – during the time of the second “Red Scare.” Sound judgment has eliminated the paragraph from current oaths, and hopefully, it won’t make a reappearance in future swearing-in ceremonies.

Beautiful Cambria

Throughout this uncertain time, Cambria’s essential services continue to be delivered by the men and women who keep the water flowing, the ambulances running, and the open spaces available to us to clear our minds and stretch our legs (six feet apart.)

Our grocery stores are doing vital work, keeping shelves stocked with the food, medicines, and consumables we need to keep body and soul together. Thanks!

Our restaurants are adapting to the new reality, transitioning from sit-down establishments to pickup and delivery models. This fills some of the gaps for both the businesses and the residents who support them. Thanks, and hang in there!

Most impressively, the true spirit of Cambria is on display everywhere. Individual citizens and community organizations are shining brightly. Raising money, operating food banks, looking after the kids who depend on school lunches to survive. Making masks and keeping regular communication going out to the community on the many Cambria and San Simeon social media sites. The scope of this beautiful generosity is too great to capture in one paragraph, but the efforts are humbling and heroic.

Beautiful Cambria. Beautiful Cambrians.

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Scarecrow, or Pedestrian?

01 Tuesday Oct 2019

Posted by in Beautiful Cambria, Cambria Scarecrows, Communicating, Home, Humor, Searching for Cambria's Reality, Treasured Finds, Words matter

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I almost ran over Tom Gray today. Well, I think it was Tom. It wasn’t intentional, of course, and he probably didn’t notice. We were both paying attention to our Main Street surroundings, as sensible Cambrians do. The crosswalk and Tom were where they were supposed to be. So was I, buckled in, hands appropriately spaced on the steering wheel. My eyes ran through the sequence – straight ahead, sweep side to side, check mirrors, react, and repeat. Tom, it seemed, was doing likewise, sans steering wheel. He made it across safely, and I continued on my way. So what happened? I’ll tell you what happened; it was those damn scarecrows, that’s what happened.

Boo Who?

They are everywhere. On the corners, in the alleyways, and fronting just about every store in town. They pop out from behind the pines. They drop like party streamers from lamp posts. They stand guard at the entrance to the church. I stood on Cambria Drive for twenty-seven minutes, waiting for a Dancers By The Sea Flash Mob. Nope. Scarecrows.

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Nuns and priests. Cats and Dogs. Goblins and ghouls. Pirates and Italian Chefs. I waved enthusiastically to a group of cyclists, thinking it might be Andy, Susan, and Charles. I assumed they were going slowly to accommodate a new hip. Wrong! Scarecrows.

After a spirited discussion on local water politics, I took off my glasses to give them a wipe. When I put them back on, I realized I had been arguing with a dummy, and not Cindy Steidel. Hoping nobody noticed, I patted a stuffed shoulder and thanked her for service to the community.

Say It Like You Mean It

I decided to make the most of my mistakes and began shouting greetings to all the figures. “Hi, Elizabeth! Great pictures from the beach this morning!” “Thanks for the road closure matrix, Susan!” “Love the new sport coat, Mr. Lyons!” “How goes the potato crop, Leslie?” “Great piece on your time in country music, Kathe!” Sorry about almost running you over, Tom!”

And thus I made my way through town, thinking of something positive to say to each scarecrow. Words I might not have the opportunity to share in person with every real, living, and breathing character in Cambria’s ever-changing story.

Different Spirits

Arriving at the far end of town, I popped into the Cutruzzola Tasting Room to say hello. I thought they might be busy, based on the crowd next to the building. DOH! Scarecrows with streamers. Thank goodness a real live Mari was there to talk me down. I did most of the talking, as I am wont to do. By the time I left, she was probably hoping for a mute scarecrow to stop by.

A Happy Place

I made it to my original destination – the Cambria Library. I go there to write, and by write, I mean people-watch in between sentences. It seems like the natural place when trying to turn thoughts into words–into sentences–into paragraphs. I like this library. It is not so quiet that you can’t think. It is not so stuffy that you are afraid to sneeze.

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It is, instead, a welcoming place with friendly librarians, local volunteers who staff the bookstore, and kids with grandmas who come every week to exchange last week’s adventures for a whole new set of imagination boosters. Astronauts on week one, traded in for Lego Dinosaur adventures the next trip. Today’s choice features a Princess, a Snowman, and enough excitement to keep a young boy and a young-at-heart grandmother joined in exploration, building a bond that will strengthen with every turn of a page.

There should be a scarecrow for that.

Learn about the Cambria Scarecrows here.

Saturday Sessions – Water Works

07 Saturday Sep 2019

Posted by in Beautiful Cambria, Cambria CCSD, Communicating, Community Involvement, Educating a Community, Local politics, Searching for Cambria's Reality, Words matter

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Remote Thoughts – Home Viewing Version

(or, How I Spent Mike Lyons’ Birthday)

The tradition of Cambria’s Saturday morning community forums continued September 7 with a session focused on the town’s water supply systems, and particularly the “EmergencySustainableAdvancedWaterFacilityMachineSystem” ™ patent and permit pending.

Cambria Community Services District Board President Dave Pierson, resplendent in navy blazer and open-collared, pinstriped button-down shirt, facilitated the forum. Attendees and viewers received a well-crafted and smoothly delivered fact-and data-filled presentation. Those at the Vet’s Hall enjoyed a tantalizing and delicious (I imagine) array of freshly baked cookies created by the delightful and community-minded Karen Dean.

The session was thoughtfully constructed and delivered by the team of former acting General Manager and current district consultant Paavo Ogren, data and administration analyst Melissa Bland, and water systems leader Jim Green. Each of the presenters stood as examples of skilled, experienced, and capable personnel that staff critical roles in the Services District.

Talent

Mr. Ogren demonstrated his grasp of the complexity of the issues and brought an interesting outsider/insider perspective from his previous work in county planning through his tenure with the CCSD organization and administration.

Ms. Bland took us back to what seems like a reasonable point in time – 1990. She did an excellent job, walking through a series of statistics, requirements, and point-in-time events that led to the current state of Cambria’s water situation.

Mr. Green then took the mouse and did a great job of again mixing data, regulations, and requirements, and actions are taken to maintain and expand the systems that deliver Cambria’s precious water supply.

All three presenters addressed many of the questions, opinions, and assumptions that have clouded the critical discussions around Cambria’s water facilities.

Complex Questions, Honest Answers

After the presentations were complete, President Pierson read questions submitted by the public. The questions were thoughtful and detailed. Many were based on technical, environmental, and regulatory factors; some were both complex and carefully worded. Mr. Ogren skillfully answered one such question by pointing out that based on the wording, the answer was “no,” but he then dug down into what he saw as the intent behind the question. His subsequent answer was much more helpful.

Some of the questions made me wonder, “what is this all about?” and “what is the goal of asking that?” To the credit of the panelists, each question was answered thoughtfully, and explanations were put into the broader context of the issues being discussed. I really appreciated that approach and found that my field of vision was widened as I saw how the panelists listened and responded. Mr. Ogren’s description of “adaptive management planning” was a “duh” moment for me!

President Pierson also had a strong moment, stopping some guesswork responses with a firm statement: (paraphrasing) “This is about facts and not guesses.”

Takeaways

It is clear that the CCSD has talented, thorough, and involved employees and leaders who are serious about what they do for the community. These folks know their stuff. They are clear communicators, experts in their areas, and understand how to connect the dots across what is often a confusing landscape of issues and solutions.

The issue of cost will continue to be painfully present in all discussions. It was encouraging to hear future-focused, practical and pragmatic positions from some of the board, alongside the constant drumbeat of negativity and solution-less posturing from less visionary members. To me, the contrast between investing and building for tomorrow or destroying progress to save yesterday was stark. And needed.

It comes back to the eternal question of what we expect from an elected representative. Some favor a person who will act as an amplifier of a particular position. Others favor someone who will use their best judgment and act based on what they believe is best for all.

I admire the courage and conviction it takes to stand on principle, regardless of which perspective one favors. It is easy to be a dilettante. It is noble to raise the hand and say, “I’ll do it.”

Why made this session valuable? Hyperbole was muted, opinion replaced with fact. The table was properly set with a beginning, middle and ending. Complex things became much simpler to understand and assess.

The event was broadcast and recorded and will be available for viewing over the coming days at the SLO-SPAN website. It is worth watching, even without the cookies.

 

 

 

Community Part I – Our Brother’s Keeper

04 Thursday Jul 2019

Posted by in Beautiful Cambria, Cambria Schools, Communicating, Community Involvement, Emergency Services, Home, Homelessness, Living Our Values, Searching for Cambria's Reality, Social Responsibility, Words matter

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The past few weeks have brought into focus something that I have been trying to capture about beautiful Cambria. The community was invited to attend two different town forums, both on topics that cut across all artificial barriers. Both sessions shared a set of common characteristics. First, they were led by top-shelf chairpersons. Both committees have an outstanding group of citizens who serve our community with passion and distinction. And both forums featured expert presenters who brought facts to what are often emotionally charged and occasionally hyperbolic topics – Homelessness and Wildfire Preparedness.

Session One – Homeless in the Community

The first event, hosted by the North Coast Advisory Council under the leadership of Chair  Susan McDonald, offered an in-depth discussion of homelessness in the community. The council put together a panel of fourteen experts who represented governmental, faith-based, and non-profit organizations that deal with the myriad issues grouped under the HOMELESS label.

It was, at times, depressing, shocking, and despairing. But those moments were countered by hope, success, actions and intelligent determination to meet the issues where they are, and not accept the simple and superficial arguments that say there are no answers except the one that aligns with an individual’s worldview.

When we were young we pledged allegiance
Every morning of our lives
The classroom rang with children’s voices
Under teacher’s watchful eye
We learned about the world around us
At our desks and at dinner time
Reminded of the starving children
We cleaned our plates with guilty minds
And the stones in the road
Shone like diamonds in the dust
And then a voice called to us
To make our way back home
Mary Chapin Carpenter

Read Kathe Tanner’s excellent reporting on the Forum.

Homeless

What does “homeless” mean? There are as many variants as there are people, it seems.

People without a place to live due to a financial crisis or a health crisis.  Victims fleeing domestic abuse. People who have a mental illness, addiction, or untreated substance abuse problems.

There are the transients, the part-timers, the semi-homeless, the on and off again homeless. There are rotating families who struggle to find the ways and means to a permanent place. There are veterans and those who illicitly claim that status.

There are those who like the freedom of rootless life, who depend on the kindness of strangers for sustenance. There are those who similarly wander, but use other methods of extracting support from communities.

Kids

Most distressingly, there are, in Beautiful Cambria, almost one hundred kids classified as homeless. They couch surf or share grossly overcrowded motel rooms with others in similar situations. They rotate through homes and sheltered places, often claiming a corner of a floor or perhaps a shared bed. Sometimes they shiver in a car or a campground. That might be fun during an adventurous road trip, but not so much as a way of life.

As reported by a school administrator, there are 601 students enrolled in the Coast Union school system. Of those 601 students, 73.8% are eligible for nutrition assistance. That’s 447 kids. The meals provided by the school are often the only healthy food these kids regularly get.

The numbers seem to remain constant, but the faces change. Families who come to this area are looking for a place where they can build a decent life. They work hard, contribute to the community, and help make the local economy run, yet can’t get enough traction to sustain a permanent home base. So they move on to the next place and are replaced by the next group of hopefuls.

Solutions in Action

As the forum progressed, the experts on the panel stood up and answered the question, “What are you going to do about it?” It was heartening to hear the consistent answer – “This is what we are doing about it.”

Each presenter gave a straightforward description of what their organization does, the challenges they face, and the programs and approaches they rely on to provide critical services.

The level of cooperation and coordination was heartening. The inter-agency relationships painted a picture of the few doing the work of many. Churches and schools, CCSD employees and citizen-driven action committees are all taking on a piece of the challenge. From Veterans Services to Domestic Violence victim support, from the Sheriff to State Parks, the message that rang out was – it is not just “my” problem – it is “our” problem.

There are no rose-colored glasses here, but there is a lot of clear vision. The problems facing too many of us are real, and the impacts are not insignificant. The truth takes the heart in many directions. There is real human suffering, and in beautiful Cambria, it is met by true humanity.

For more detailed information, download the NCAC meeting minutes here.

The starving children have been replaced
By souls out on the street
We give a dollar when we pass
And hope our eyes don’t meet…
Stones in the road
Leave a mark whence they came
A thousands points of light or shame
Baby, I don’t know

Community, Part II -Knowledge in Action

Disaster At The Firehouse!

09 Tuesday Apr 2019

Posted by in Cambria Fire Department, Communicating, Community Involvement, Emergency Services, Home, Humor, Satire, Searching for Cambria's Reality, Words matter

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Part One – The Mistake

It started innocently enough, just another day in a long stretch of multi-day shifts. The duty crew was settling in for a fitful sleep. Reading lights glowed in small, spartan rooms. Each member of the service reading, texting, or relaxing, near rest but still on the edge of adrenaline known to those who answer the bell.
A television played quietly in the communal room near the back of the station. Jimmy Fallon was doing his usual “laugh too hard at his guest’s every comment” routine. The last few unpopped kernels of Skinny Girl popcorn (with sea salt) sat at the bottom of an old takeout carton from Robin’s. The empty cans of Red Bull lay in the recycle bin. The unique nightlight, thoughtfully provided for the new reserve who had not quite settled into the firehouse environment, glowed softly. Above the beacon sat the station’s whiteboard, tagged with a series of “To Do’s” and “who left the taco sauce uncovered???” complaints written in different colored dry erase markers. Each shift had their color, but as the ink ran dry, everything was captured in that washed-out red/orange/maybe blue color that showed the effects of being dipped in a glass of (non-potable) water to eke out one more scribble.
Times are tight in this tightly run department.
The night turned to morning, just as surely as Fallon turned into Seth Meyers. In the half-light of dawn, a still-groggy first responder shuffled into the kitchen to begin the daily routine. Perhaps it was the lack of uninterrupted sleep. A half-remembered exchange between Meyers and guest Patton Oswalt had him rustling through grey matter, trying to recall the “Ratatouille” punch line that had the audience roaring. Add to all of this slightly impaired vision; an unintended by-product of the commando-style blue blocker sunglasses donned to aid against the rapidly growing sunlight that sliced through the novelty Smokey The Bear window curtains.
In this almost awake and kind of confused state, an error occurred; A mistake that started a chain of events that still reverberates to this day.
The after-action report laid it all out in clinical fashion. It was neither clinical or fashionable. But first, the mistake.

One Job

As highly trained, experienced professionals, the ability to multi-task, even under stressful conditions, was a source of pride for all the crew. The relatively simple and routine morning tasks – wake, pee, wash, and brew – required little thought. Of course, mixing up these steps can prove both embarrassing and potentially sickening. This theory was tested- severely tested.
Reach into the container, remove contents. Put contents into the machine. Start machine. Pee again. Wash. Wait for the aroma that shouts “READY!!!”
The shout that eventually came was not what anyone expected.
In a groggy fog, the first responder made a terrible, nearly unimaginable mistake. He went out of sequence, mixed up container one with container two, and accidentally put the coffee beans where the Tide Pod was supposed to go.
Suddenly, the station was flooded with luke-warm latte.
At the same time, The Chief, still agitated from his commute, took his first sip of what he thought was morning coffee. Bubbles flew from his mouth as he attempted to spit out the soap while yelling “Maalooonnneeeeyyyy!!!!!!!!!” All the stain-fighting power of that tiny pod couldn’t clean up the language that flew that fateful morning.

Part Two – A Dank Place

It didn’t take long for the leak to spread throughout the house. Possessions were submerged. Critical documents were soaked and smeared. Slippers squished, and flip flops floated. It was a mess of epic proportions. A choked expletive escaped from an Engineer as he picked up his latest copy of “Tattoo Today – Heart on My Sleeve.” The colorfully printed pages had fused in a wet wavy clot. Lost for all time were the handwritten notations placed in the margins just hours earlier. Now, there were just runny, swirly lines where thoughtful comments like “cool – I wonder if it will fit in that special place” and “nice, but I like my Keep on Truckin’ guy better” once stood.
Across the hall, the leadership team came together to develop a plan of attack. In an intense brainstorming scrum, ideas were floated and discarded.
“Maybe we can get a sh*tload of donuts to soak up the spill?” “
“No, not donuts – too much sugar. How about rice cakes?”
“Hmmm, maybe, but I think Dan ate the last bag yesterday.”
“Ok, Ok. We need a solution RIGHT NOW!!! Everybody, grab a towel, a mop, an old tee shirt from Pinedorodo 2014, anything that will absorb moisture.”
“Ryan – get the mop. Michael – get the roll of Bounty from under the sink. Other Michael – put down the tattoo magazine – it’s gone. We need to focus!!!! And for the love of everything holy, somebody call Dan and have him pick up some more rice cakes from Albertsons.”
The crew sprang into action, determined to get the upper hand in the battle of the bilge. Obstacles and impediments were moved to the side, clearing a path that would serve as a bridge from which teams could work. To the left, a shift captain quickly had his crew working to soak up the now-bitter coffee/water. Getting into the spirit of close teamwork, a firefighter began softly whistling; others soon joined her, whistling louder and with more enthusiasm.
B shift, working from the other side of the path, took up the challenge and began their own musical rally cry, substituting humming for whistling. The station filled with whistles and hums, so powerful that nobody heard the loud crackle of the radio.
(A second after-action report determined that everyone thought it was merely the sound of Jiffy Pop being made by an eager-to-please member of the FireSafe Focus group, who had mixed up the meeting dates and showed up in the middle of the mess. Subsequentially, A new procedure was put in place, known as the Shirley Rule, which calls for at least two radios to be equipped with an audible, human-voiced alert yelling “ We ain’t poppin’ so you need to get hoppin’!” to alert the crew to an actual call.)
Thankfully, the radio call was just a message from Dan, letting everyone know that Albertson’s had rice cakes on sale, and he had a coupon. Budget saved!

Part Three – Word Spreads

The crews worked valiantly to contain and repair what the flood had wrought. Despite their efforts, the job was just too big, too involved. They needed help, and they needed it quickly.
Surveying the situation, The Chief realized what he had to do. He sighed heavily, took another sip of soapy water, bellowed again, and headed out to his truck.
He turned the key in the ignition, knowing things were about to get even more challenging. He inched his command vehicle forward, looking both left and right before pulling into the busy roadway. No turning back now, he thought to himself. He guided the truck down the winding road, past the Lodge, and towards town. As he turned left on Main Street, a thought jolted him, and he exclaimed, “I hope Dan got the good rice cakes and not that store brand crap.” It was out of his hands; he just had to trust that years of leadership training would lead Captain Dan to the right shelf. And that the coupon was still valid.

The Meeting

Chief pulled into the parking lot of the Vet’s Hall, knowing that the report he was about to give might be shocking and sobering to the regular attendees. He had updated the Board and public many times in his tenure with the department. This one would be different. No amount of slides, no stream of acronyms and codes would provide him cover. He had to let the town know that disaster had struck, and what he was doing about it.
The video was rolling. Allegiance was pledged. The sheriff’s commander was there to give his readout and immediately sensed that something was wrong. Chief didn’t seem quite himself. He smelled slightly of lukewarm latte and soapsuds. Not an entirely unpleasant combination, the sheriff thought, but not what he had come to expect.
When he was called to present his report, Chief took a minute and found his center, calming himself before striding confidently to the podium. He hadn’t noticed, but a contingent of off-duty members, as well as a few ambulance guys, Jerry McKinnon, and for some reason that kid from the Cookie Crock had filed into the meeting space, standing shoulder to shoulder in support of the Chief, knowing his update might not sit well with some of the usual suspects.
It was a touching sight, though it was a bit distracting to hear a voice loudly whispering “Hey, I can’t see…what’s happening now???” The line separated just enough so that the blocked captain could better see the proceedings.

The Report

The Chief began his report, only to be interrupted by a few shouts of “we can’t hear you, turn the microphone on…not, the button…the other button…” Finally, levels were corrected, and he began.
“Mr. President, members of the board and staff, community and the Cookie Crock guy, I had a prepared presentation, which can be found in the agenda packet. However, I need to pre-empt myself and give you an update on a bit of a problem we experienced at the station.”
And he told them everything. The mistake. The wavy clot of magazines. The bridge, the whistling, and the Jiffy Pop. He spared them nothing. Sensing the moment was near, he told them about the mocha mixup and the bubbles. So many bubbles. In a scene reminiscent of Brando in “Streetcar,” he bellowed, as he had bellowed that very morning, “Maalooonnneeeeyyyy!!!!!!!!!”
The crowd was stunned into silence. They had no idea the Chief had those acting chops. Snatches of excited whispering were heard. “He needs to star in the next Follies!”

NOOOOOO!!!

From all the chatter rose a solitary, insistent voice. The sound terrifying and chilling, the noise akin to every alarm in the county sounding at once. Everyone froze, except for the Cookie Crock guy, who figured his break was over and he better get back to work.
“OUTRAGED!!! I AM OUTRAGED!!! REALLY REALLY REALLY OUTRAGED!!! I AM NOT EVEN SURE WHY, BUT DAMMIT I AM OUTRAGED!!!!! I DEMAND THAT WHATEVER HAS HAPPENED, WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE, WHATEVER THE PLAN, THAT WE FIND THE LAST GENERAL MANAGER, WHEREVER HE IS, AND BRING HIM HERE SO WE CAN FIRE HIM AGAIN!!!!!” DID I MENTION I AM OUTRAGED?????”
It could be only one voice, one force of nature that could create such a tsunami of sound. The keeper of all things outrage had spoken.

But…

For once, the usually reliable crowd did not rise in support of the outraged. Instead, the good people of the town put their heads together and started churning out helpful suggestions. It was quite a transformational moment until things got a bit testy when “someone” was reminded that the whole rice cake thing had already been discussed. Beyond that one small flareup, no good ideas surfaced.

No Capes Needed

Amid the discussion, the Chief and his supporters quietly filed out. They got in their vehicles and headed back to the station. They were people of action, and there was work to be done. And Dan should have returned with the rice cakes, and, the gods willing, a box from Dolly’s Donuts would have found its way home.
Sent with great appreciation and affection for Cambria’s Bravest.