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Thoughts From The Back Of The Room

~ Words Matter

Category Archives: Poems and Prayers

Jesus of Fordham Road

17 Wednesday Jun 2026

Posted by Michael Calderwood in Catholic Faith, Poems and Prayers, Prayer and Reality, Words matter

≈ 2 Comments

I saw Jesus on Fordham Road, outside a cathedral built in his honor.

A long line of hungry and hopeful souls stretched around the building, waiting for a bit of relief. A loaf of bread, a tin of fish. Some water. Perhaps a coupon or a voucher to help with clothing and shelter. A doctor or nurse offering hope and medicine.

Jesus fit right in, moving as the line moved.  He wasn’t there to convert or exhort them to try harder, do better, or be less of a burden. He just hung out with the people he dearly loved. The hungry, the poor, the afflicted. The humble, the hard-working. The elderly. The ordinary. The child.

From anywhere.

He felt every glare of hate born of fear, ignorance, or bigotry. The false pride of not having to stand in this line.  He responded with unencumbered love and understanding.

He heard echoes of song and prayer, past and present, floating from the souls who came to this mecca of faith. Organs and choirs, guitars and voices singing about vines and branches, whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, peace be with you. Each in the language of the beseecher, the message common across them all.

He thought of the decades he stood alongside those seeking help from this place. Some in shame, some in desperation, with hope for relief of body, mind, and spirit. Help was always there.

There will always be a line.

‘For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger and you took me in; Matthew 25:35

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The Next Journey

03 Friday Apr 2026

Posted by Michael Calderwood in Art and Artists, Dreams and Reality, Perserverence, Poems and Prayers, Words matter

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Cambria Center For The Arts, Memory

Furrows wax smooth, wearing away the edges of memory.

Fleeting glimpses, faces and hands. A long tail drapes behind. Bejeweled, perhaps, woven deep, hanging on invisible thread. Precious and impermanent.

Exhaled regrets spark valiant splashes of color and light. Agony finds ecstasy, miasma blooms a luscious, fragrant renewal.

Beyond your gaze, an endlessly morphing cinema. Beauty and adventures unreel. The borders fray, break through.

I watch from here, protect what I can, encourage silently, and write to remember.

Painting – The Gaze – Judy Schuster, Artist

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Our Daily Bread

20 Tuesday May 2025

Posted by Michael Calderwood in Art and Artists, Communicating, God vs Country, Living Our Values, Poems and Prayers, Prayer and Reality, Social Responsibility, Words matter

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Our Daily Bread

A tinkling bell announces arrivals.
Sights, scents lead to temptation, salvation.
What to touch, what to taste?
Answers lie half-hidden behind the counter,
beckoning in tall glass cases.

Give us this day our daily bread
A complement of diversity stands in service,
ready to meet wants, needs.
To the left, day-old offerings,
To the right, shining richness.
Extravagant decadence?
Let them eat cake.
Essential sustenance?
Let them eat.
Feed the hungry. Sate the beast.

Forgive us our trespasses
Day passes.
Resources dwindle.
Redistribute across racks and shelves.
Make it seem like more, or at least enough.

As we forgive those who trespass against us
Toiling,
feeding others so they can feed their own.
Family, community, travelers.
The lost.

And lead us not into temptation
Who will be fulfilled?
Who left wanting?
Who will be left tomorrow?

Or the next day?

But deliver us from evil

A tinkling bell announces departures.

Late to the Bakery - Cindy Stiles, Artist

Late to the Bakery – Cindy Stiles, Artist


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Old Man

31 Saturday Aug 2024

Posted by Michael Calderwood in Dreams and Reality, Living Our Values, Perserverence, Poems and Prayers, Words matter

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

aging, despair, fading spirit, Love, Memory, regret

Greyed hair mumbling heart
moving slowly
slowly losing
moments courage faith
Wizened but no wiser

Gauzed and threadbare dreams
the boy the young man the father
sepia-edged
colors drained
sounds muffled
memories mottled

In the gloaming
reality lies soured with regret
what fight remains ends
in the privacy of his ridiculousness
where spent passions fade away

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Novella

07 Thursday Dec 2023

Posted by Michael Calderwood in Communicating, Dreams and Reality, Poems and Prayers, Words matter

≈ 1 Comment

In my novella
you are the pain.
In yours, it is me.

My notebook
empty spaces
where answers should be.

Your notebook
raging scratch-outs
more like gashes.

We start
a new paragraph
rearrange the words.

In our story
the ending
stays the same.

Someday
we might lay down
this terrible sword
disguised as a pen.

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The Last Father’s Day

24 Saturday Sep 2022

Posted by Michael Calderwood in Home, Perserverence, Poems and Prayers, Words matter

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Memory

Father knows best? No. Father knows pain. His, theirs.

A sunny Sunday, surrounded by endless beauty, art, and family. Vista of the sky where mountains meet city and ocean kisses borders. Friends and lovers wander through impossible treasures, wordlessly turning to share their wonder. Father gazes toward the place where Son will arrive. He doesn’t know which one will appear, but he will accept him.

Father knows his Son and the tempest of angels and demons that rotate through him. His sense of when Son is struggling is almost spiritual. Father does not believe in God; he believes in the energy of the collective universe. Son believes in the heartache of a million screaming souls.

Father was once the Son. His angels and demons still drop in to remind him to pay attention. They offer no guidance, just awareness.

Son arrives alone, trailed by invisible murmurers. Today, they are unbalanced, with light struggling against a larger rash of darkness. Father feels the struggle as Son slowly moves towards him. And he knows, with no words, that this is the Last Father’s Day.

They try for normal. There is no normal. Son is generous, assuming the role of patron on this day. Father melts from the gesture and the halting words Son offers, thankful for Father’s love and support through the firestorms that seemed to dominate their lives. The moment is perhaps propelled by the last of the angels as demons tear at the light and summon the relentless cloud of darkness that would finally win.

The painful tension is undeniable as they say goodbye. Father holds Son for a moment, feeling the raging darkness beating against the desperate love, knowing there are no miracle words to say. There never are, except I love you, I am sorry, and I am here.

Soon enough, the last defenses fall, and whatever angels may survive have retreated. Blistering words, raging howls of hate. Shotgun blasts of denial and rejection. Darkness. This time, it feels like forever.

Are the last fusillades the demon’s victory, or a final blessing from the dying angels, turning them away so as not to share the ultimate abyss?

Father knows nothing but to remember the tortured slash of love on the Last Father’s Day.

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Broken Things 

28 Sunday Aug 2022

Posted by Michael Calderwood in Poems and Prayers, Words matter

≈ 1 Comment

Sacred gifts lay broken around us

They can’t be fixed, or destroyed, or erased

Silent daggers sever hearts

Yours. Ours.

Broken Spirits

Broken People

Broken World

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Surface scratched

23 Tuesday Jun 2020

Posted by Michael Calderwood in Living Our Values, Poems and Prayers, Social Responsibility, Words matter

≈ 2 Comments

There is good and bad everywhere, it is said.

So where then should we live?

Here, we thought. This place is full of good.

Then we became home bound

physical bodies sitting around virtual tables

reading words without the cover of a smile or the nuance of inflection.

Just the words.

Ugly words.

Those people

Animals

Stay away from here.

Don’t kill us with your breathing

Don’t kill us with your rage.

We have enough of our own.

Label them.

Racist, anarchist, terrorist.

Only twelve percent

Whoop their ass.

Sick of them not knowing history

the way we wrote it.

We took care of slavery

quickly.

Just a few hundred years.

If you believe it is over.

All Words Matter.

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