I’ve been challenged to write something funny about the Policy Committee meeting held on October 27th, 2022. Try as I might, I can’t top the first seven minutes of the session. Heck, the Daily Show could not have scripted a better segment.

GREMLINS!!!

Login gremlins ran roughshod over the proceedings. Every gag appeared, from the “I can’t see you, I can’t hear you, can you hear me?” bit to the reading of ghost attendees, resurrected from a previous PROS Commission meeting. As if in a Halloween Funhouse, faces appeared and disappeared randomly, mystery phone numbers popped up, and garbled voices bled into the crosstalk from a dental office in the great unknown. Spooky, boys and girls!

IMPS!!!

The merriment continued with a member of the public introduced as a “troublemaker.” Perhaps it was a mischievous prankster, turning the citizens into less severe attendees, or a clever Jester subtly winking to the gathered members. Nice one! It fit right into the day’s spirit, where several gender-based “compliments” were shared to acknowledge the leadership of two women on the committee. You go, girls, amirite?

SHADOWS!!!

The adventure continued. Shadows crept across the face of the host, darkening his countenance and sharpening every feature. The light struck so as to draw a dark symbol atop his face, not quite The Iron Mask nor the helmet of Sir Gregor Clegane. An homage, perhaps, to the days of Theatre Macabre? Christopher Lee smiles somewhere on the edge of whatever universe he now inhabits. Chilling!

WIZARDS!!!

As in any good Chiller Thriller, a scene of near-normalcy slid into the event. On the surface, calm and unthreatening. But wait, what is this we hear? No, it can’t be! Facts! Details! Strategic Thinking! Competence, no, excellence! How cruel to tease with these things. Thankfully, the spell of reality was broken with the ultimate sleight of hand – turning one thing into something it is not. The perfect delivery of the classic “Back To Ye Olde Tricks.” Brilliant!

BIG FINISH!!!

As the budget for the production ran out, the storyteller scrambled to tie up loose ends and set the scene for the sequel. Finally, stumbling, it ends. Not with a grand reveal or unexpected twist. Siskel would not be pleased; Ebert, maybe a little.

Happy Halloween!

(Policy B00-2022-HOWL)